Sunday, October 18, 2009
I've Been Framed
Hi everyone, Katie here.
I hope you're sitting down while you read this. I've been framed. I'll say it again for impact. I've been framed. I've been wrongly accused of a terrible crime and my world has been turned upside down here in the townhouse. Apparently some hack for The Kitty City Gazette has published a report identifying ME as the guilty-until- proven-innocent party in a most shocking and horrifying crime. It's spreading like wildfire all over the blogosphere. My reputation as well as my entire future is at stake here.
You can read the article HERE. This so-called reporter, SharynZ, did not even bother to contact me for a comment. The story involves corruption, reckless endangerment and murder. What the report fails to disclose however is that I was framed by a 5 year-old Domestic Short Hair that goes by the name of "Vito." When the police questioned me I told them that Vito had been flirting with me. Soon after the initial contact I became disoriented and confused. The last thing I remembered was coming to and finding myself in the shower. The SHOWER!!! Well I've got one word for you. Rohypnol. You know, the date rape drug. This Vito guy slipped me a rufy and proceeded to take advantage of my compromised state. Cod only knows what he tried to do to me. Due to the effects of the said drug, I may never be able to remember. It may be so horrifying that my subconscious will block the events forever.
The police tried to handcuff me. Even gave the key to Red Dog. Fortunately I'm such a petite cat with delicate wrists, their big clumsy cuffs didn't fit. Well you know what that means. If they don't fit, you must acquit.
In response to the KC Gazette's allegations, all I can say is that I am NOT a Prego girl. Ragu is the only spaghetti sauce I ever touch. Glogirly knows that. Gloman knows that. I'm sure the grocery store man knows it too. I had nothing to do with the opened jar of Prego spaghetti sauce that is at the center of this shocking story.
So please my friends, keep me in your thoughts. I am seeking alternative legal representation in an effort to get these ridiculous charges dropped before my trial date. But time is a-wasting. I will try to keep you apprised of my situation.
I'm innocent I tell you, INNOCENT!