Saturday, February 28, 2015

TV Trip Tribute: Live Long & Pawsper

Today's TV Trip Encore is dedicated to Leonard Nimoy, a.k.a. Spock.
In our hearts you will always Live Long and Pawsper.
Rest in peace.

WAFFLES:  Make it GO, Boss! Make it GO!

KATIE:  SO, Waffles. The line is, "Make it SO."

WAFFLES:  SO... Make it GO!

KATIE:  Waffles, even if you COULD get the line right, you're hardly a Captain Picard. 

WAFFLES:  Awe, c'mon Boss! You ALWAYS get to be the captain and stuff. Remember Gilligan's Island? And the Love Boat? Why can't be the captain? 

KATIE:  Waffles???

WAFFLES:  Isn't this show called Cat Trek: The NEXT Generation? Aren't I the NEXT Generation?

KATIE:  Waffles, that's what scares me. Young cats today... you have no idea what it was like before Hulu and Netflix. 

WAFFLES:  You mean like when there were dinosaurs no one had iPads and stuff? How did they watch their shows?

KATIE:  Just hurry up and pose for the title photo.

WAFFLES:  Only if I can be the captain. So, can I be the captain?

KATIE:  This is highly illogical. But fine, be the captain already.

Leonard Nimoy
Origin of photo unknown

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Friday, February 27, 2015

TMZzzz Exclusive: WaffKat Kiss - The REAL Story

TMZzzz Reporter:  So Katie, we all want to hear your side of the story on the now famous KISS photo. Is it true you were locking lips with an orange cat barely 1/4 your age?

KATIE:  That was NO kiss. I wouldn't lock lips with that cat if he was holding the last chicken drumstick on earth.

TMZzzz Reporter:  Katie, I've just been told we have a close up of the photograph in question. The way I see it, you appear to be gazing into the eyes of another cat with your lips softly parted. It's hard to tell, but... do I see tongue??? How do you explain this?

KATIE:  The press has blown this WAY out of proportion. It's a bad camera angle, I'm telling you. A VERY bad camera angle. 

TMZzzz Reporter:  I don't know, Katie. Viewers aren't buying it. Okay, we've got Waffles on the line. Welcome Waffles. So tell us, what happened?

WAFFLES:  I was just minding my own bizness and stuff and out of nowhere the Boss came over and planted a big wet one on me, I swear it.

TMZzzz Reporter:  Waffles, did you do anything to provoke this unexpected display of ... would you call it affection? 

WAFFLES:  No, the Boss doesn't have an infection. And I didn't catch anything from her either. Except for the catnip dental treat she was eating.

TMZzzz Reporter:  Do you mean to say you stole a catnip dental treat right out of her mouth???

WAFFLES:  Well yeah, it's #CatDentalHealth month, duh.

Reporters are camped out at the Townhouse as we continue to follow the WaffKat KISS story. Stay tuned to TMZzzz for more breaking–

TMZzzz Satellite Reporter:  Hey, can someone please pass the kibble? My satellite dish is empty. 

Thursday, February 26, 2015

National Cat Enquirer Exclusive: THE KISS

Minneapolis, MN
February 26, 2015

Shock waves out of Minnesota today. Two rival cats caught on camera in what can only be described as the ultimate in compromising positions. The lip-locking felines have been identified as Katie & Waffles of the GLOGIRLY cat blog.

The anonymous photographer behind the salacious shot is rumored to have sold exclusive rights to the photo for a figure in excess of elebenty billion dollars. 

Katie, pictured right, argues the "misleading and horrifying snapshot" was a result of some mad Photoshop skills, however the authenticity of the image has been confirmed and the photograph deemed untouched. Katie now claims the viral photo is "nothing more than a bad camera angle." 

A VERY bad angle indeed.

Waffles, the orange tabby with his back to the camera, has wasted no time vigorously sharing the KISS photo on social media. Meanwhile leagues of women and clowders of female cats are heartbroken and in shock. 

L-R: Princess Floofenfluff, Chris, Pancake, Tutu

"NOOOO, say it isn't so, Waffles!" -Princess Floofenfluff, Lubbock, TX

"I thought was his girlfriend!" -Chris, Kansas City, MO

"YOU TWO-TIMING #%&*@!!" -Pancake, Savannah, GA

"But, but what was all that one in elebenty billion talk???"-Tutu, Fargo, ND

The contemptuous rivalry between Katie and Waffles is no secret to fans of their blog. According to legal experts, a single picture like this, exposing the two cats in such a damaging way, could not only permanently tarnish their reputations but take down the entire GLOGIRLY empire with a single swipe of the paw.