Hi everyone, Katie here.
Yesterday all charges against me in death case of Mabel Mouse were officially dropped. I just love pointing the paw at someone else. But GLOGIRLY???
Wally Island Cat, Chief Medical Examiner assigned to the case, released the autopsy report just this morning. His findings indicate that Mabel died in fact from natural causes. Negative toxicology tests further substantiated his conclusion: Mabel suffered acute myocardial infarction. A heart attack.
Wally has not been able to determine if Mabel had a history of heart disease or if a sudden trauma or scare would have caused her pea-sized heart to stop.
SHOCKING!
In a dramatic twist, a new suspect in the case has been charged with Obstruction of Justice. Secretly identified as a person of interest early on, GLOGIRLY has been indicted for Photoshop misconduct in relation to the case. The details of the charges include:
1. Gross manipulation of the original crime scene photographs
2. Deliberate attempt to frame seven innocent bystanders and one dog
3. Fraud
In her own defense, Glogirly admits a shameful addiction to Photoshop and other photo editing software. She admits hiding her disease from family and friends for years. Sources indicate she was unable to stop herself from creating so many different crime scene composites that in turn implicated so many cats. And one dog.
The judge assigned to the case remarked that there is no legal precedent for this type of crime. In an unexpected and sympathetic move, he has sentenced Glogirly to a mere 40 hours of communi-cat service and mandatory attendance of PA (Photoshopaholics Anonymouse) meetings for a period of no less than six months.
All I can say is THANK COD. I knew she had a problem, but I tried to ignore it. I looked the other way every time she Photoshopped some stupid hat on me. At least now she'll get the help she needs.
Besides, I was NOT digging my incarceration fashion statement.
Yay Knew you was innocent now its time to party!woooowhoooo!
ReplyDeleteWe knew you were innocent, but Glogirly is gonna need lots of help gettin over this addiction!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you got it all cleared up.
ReplyDeleteKnew you was innocent
ReplyDeleteYay, Katie you are free! We knew you were innocent. Be gentle with Glogirly, an addiction can be tough to overcome.
ReplyDeleteI still think you need to have a jail break and escape to NZ *baking tuna cake with a file in it*
ReplyDeleteI STILL say the dog did it. Do you know how many times the one here almost gave me a heart attack just by barking?
ReplyDeleteThank you, Wally! Now, Katie, it's time to PARTYYYY!!!!!
ReplyDeleteKatie dear,
ReplyDeleteI reckon photoshopoholic is akin to a disease my Mama seems to be suffering from. It's called catographism. Symptoms: trigger happy whenever felines are around, intrusion of feline privacy...but ooohhh...all meowmies are guilty of the same offences. purrr...meow!
pee ess: glad you're out of this. Time for some niptini and salmon.
Hooray! That sure was some investigation. (Very creative posts.)
ReplyDeleteYay! We knew you weren't guilty, Katie...not that you aren't capable of putting a mousie out of his misery. As for Glogirly, we think her punishment should have been a little more severe...like making sure you have fresh salmon every day, 3 times a day, for a year!
ReplyDeleteI didn't want to say anything before but I never trusted that Glogirly!!! It was about time she was photo-shopped and we are glad you have been exonerated, Katie. Such a relief. Now of course you must sue for defamation and for undue stress and suffering.
ReplyDeleteAustin is briefing his errrr brief as I write. I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't a class action! the falsely arrested want their names and characters cleared of the calumnious statements made by the photoshopoholic person!
PeeEss Hahahahahahahaha! xox
Katie, we are relieved that you are innocent...but seriously, contributing to the demise of a mousie is NOT a crime! Check the law. It's true. Us cats can deaded mousies all we want.
ReplyDeleteNow as for Glogirly...::shakes head:: we think there is no hope. Who knows what she'll photoshop next.
Purrs,
Cory and family
Pee ess...Jonesie is now meowing. What she saw was Glogirly at the computer!
We DO feel badly for those who were falsely incriminated, and are very glad that you have been cleared too, Katie. However we feel that Glogirly should be let off for good creativity, because we do want to be able to read more fun blog posts soon!
ReplyDeleteWhile I feel sorry for Glogirly and her Photoshop addiction, I still may sue for defamation of character, as advised by my mouthpiece Tuna R'son Katt. Haha!
ReplyDeleteI have consulted with Mabel Mouse's family and expressed my condolences and, in a show of good faith, invited them for, er, TO dinner.
What a shocking turn of event! But we are happy that your innocence is proven!!
ReplyDeleteAt least she hasn't photoshopped you in any compromising situations!
ReplyDeleteAnd/or underwear.
Just what side of the thong are you supposed to wear your tail or is there a hole in the middle?
We always laugh when we visit your blog=you are so creative and fun, Glogirly!!...Gorgeous Katie, we always believed in your innocence, sweetie...Happy weekend, lovely friends...xoxo...Calle, Halle, Sukki
ReplyDeleteKatie, we are so happy Glogirly is getting the help she needs, and you've been proven innocent!
ReplyDeleteWell I just knew you didn't do it!
ReplyDeleteAha!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend!
Ms. Katie, we never doubted your innocense for a moment! Now STELLA on the other hand catches (*and eats) alla mice she can. She's a great mouser/rat-ter! We have parties and when she leaves them to get all stiff we have 'rat stories in the park' and use them as puppets.
ReplyDeletexoxo
That Woman
No, Katie, you don't look good in stripes! How dare your human commit such an offense?! You'll have to put her on a severe regimen of a Photoshop-free computer for a while and enforce the punishment with a heavy paw.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is not always pretty... well, with Photoshop, anything can be pretty. But, nevermind that. We have to be gentle and forgiving with Glogirly - you have to admit that many of us enable her condition. We love her posts and creativity and therefore it just encourages her for more, more more!!
ReplyDeleteOur human has an odd addiction to fonts. Especially ones that look like handwriting...
Well, I guess that is it - although I am still not sure she is not just taking a fall for her man, Gloman.
ReplyDeleteTsk, tsk, tsk. It's so sad when a perfectly nice, healthy person falls into the insidious trap of Photoshop addiction. We are very glad she is now getting the help she so obviously needs.
ReplyDeleteYay Katie,
ReplyDeleteI knew the truth would set us free and we wouldn't have to wear that silly prison outfit!!
Do we need to do an intervention on Glogirly?
I just hope she's not gonna be too busy with her sentence to go to Blogpaws - that WOULD be a crime!! :)
Have a fun weekend as a free Cat :)
Your Doggie pal Snoopy :)
I still say you haven't seen what goes on around this Farm....
ReplyDeleteWe knew you didn't do a thing. Is Glogirly attending any 12 step anonymous photo shop program for her addiction?
ReplyDeleteBenny & Lily
I just had the sneakin' suspicion you were innocent Katie! Perhaps Glogirly will compensate you with some extra salmon for your time served in the clink...
ReplyDeleteMOL, we just knew the story would have a happy ending.
ReplyDeleteKatie... THANK GOODNESS! I knew you were innocent all along. But I'm shocked 'bout these relevations 'bout Glogirly? Give her lots of hugs & cuddles. She'll need 'em. purrs
ReplyDelete*MOL* *MOL* *MOL*
ReplyDeletePA *MOL* *MOL* *MOL*
The first step is admitting GG has a problem.
ReplyDeleteBOL! Hilarious caper my kitteh furiend :D I do believe my Mom may be joining your Mom in her er meetings ;)
ReplyDeleteWaggin at ya,
Roo
FaRADaY: *doubtful look* is you sure GLOGIRLY didn't do it? Has you ever seen these peeps - 'speshully mommies -- when they see a mouse?
ReplyDeleteThe shrieks. The decibels. Mebbe she, uh... startled Mabel to death.
Maxwell: *ponder* so...would that then be Second Degree Murder, or Manslaughter or something less...?
MOL, missed this but made a perfect Sunday chuckle.
ReplyDeleteKatie, we're so happy you were proven innocent. We'd have blamed a doggie - any doggie. We bet Wally is a graduate of the University of Michigan, because he's such a good medical examiner. Purrs, Ateret, Livia and Abbi.
ReplyDelete