Hi everyone, Katie here.
Today's the day. Glogirly's performance review. It's a little delayed because I got caught up in the excitement of the big Vote! Thank you to everyone who participated in your favorite Katie post. I'll be announcing the winning post that will be submitted to the National Gallery of Writing for Articulate Animals in a few days when the polls close.
Before we get to the heart of the matter, I just want to send a special shout out to my friend Fin, over at Housecat Confidential. Just when I thought I had full command of the English language, Fin has thrown me a brand new word to add to my vernacular. It's come in quite handy with Glogirly's review. I think it's fair to say I'm fluffing obsessed with this new word. So versatile, so meaningful, so fluffing fabulous! From just plain FLUFF to the now widely popular Mother Fluffer, it's a beautiful word that can mean whatever you want it to mean. And when you use it well, there's no question what it DOES mean. Fin, you fluffing ROCK!
Glogirly says I have to put up this warning disclaimer thingy because of my new word.
Review of: Glogirly
Reviewed by: Katie
#1 QUANTITY OF OUTPUT
Has said human allowed me to blog daily, giving me maximum exposure world wide and making me famous?
FLUFF NO!!! She thinks that whenever we post, its got to be some fluffing production. Well for fluff's sake how about just a photo of my beautiful face? We have HUNDREDS of fluffing awesome photos of me. No excuses.
TWO PAWS DOWN
#2 QUALITY OF OUTPUT
Are you (Katie) satisfied with said human's choice of photos, words, creativity, imagination, truth, fun and general interest in your (Katie's) postings?
Are you fluffing kidding me? Let's get this straight. Who is in the photos? Me. OF COURSE they are fluffing beautiful. That's got nothing to do with Glogirly though.
The words? Fluff her. Who do you think is writing this blog anyway?
Imagination? All me. I spend ALL DAY imagining.
Truth? Would YOU trust someone who says "bye bye kitty, be back soon!" and returns DAYS later? Fluff no!
And any "general interest" in my blog has been generally generated by me, Katie. Example: How does every single blog entry start? "Hi everyone, Katie here." DUH!!!
#3 CLIENT PARTICIPATION, PART 1
Does said human provide sufficient ways for your fans to contact you and for you to contact them?
What do YOU fluffing think? My blog is called "Glogirly," the email address I'm forced to SHARE is "glogirl@yadda, yadda" she's got her fluffing picture plastered on MY profile. What the fluff! It's a wonder ANY of my adoring fans can find me. At least there is the comment section. Without that I'd have no contact with the outside world.
As for me leaving comments on my friends' blogs... well FLUFF me. I've got to make an appointment with her and her precious computer to get any quality commenting in. What the FLUFF is she doing all day anyway???
ONE PAW DOWN
#4 CLIENT PARTICIPATION, PART 2
Does said human allow you to take part in fun blog world special events, parties, contests and more?
WHAT special events, parties, contests and more? FLUFF!
TWO PAWS DOWN
#5 CLIENT SATISFACTION
Are your (Katie's) friends connected with what they see and read on your blog?
I hope so. I'm certain there are other cats out there like me, scratching their way through life, trying to maintain balance. With our endless responsibilities... napping, eating, pooping, daily hygiene, training the perfect human, guarding townhouses, watching for UPS, USPS, FED EX intruders, and of course blogging... well FLUFF ME UPSIDE DOWN, we have to be super-cats to get through just an ordinary day. So in short, I believe client satisfaction is high, but that's got NOTHING to do with Glogirly.
TWO PAWS DOWN
#6 OVERALL RATING:
Comments and Suggestions for Improvement. (In your own words)
Ok first, there ARE no words here or anywhere in my blog other than my own. Holy fluff, we've already been through this.
My comments and suggestions for Glogirly?
Well how much time do you have?
I'll close with just a few simple demands.
FINAL SCORE: TEN PAWS DOWN (2 + 3 + 1 + 2 + 2 = 10)
Really Glogirly, what did you expect? A bunch of sappy dribble? A pile of sweet oh-I-love-you-so-muches? Purr this, purr that? We all know that if your review read like that, the first words out of your mouth would be:
"Ok, who are you and what have you done with my cat Katie?"