Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Framed


Hi everyone, Katie here.

The evidence is circumstantial. Wrong place. Wrong time. I did NOT have inappropriate contact with those shoelaces. I've been framed.  

The evening was unremarkable.  Gloman and Glogirly dined on TV dinners, watching Mad Men on the DVR.  They retreated upstairs. Glogirly attended to her blogging tasks in bed. Gloman packed for a trip. His tennis shoes sat on the floor in plain view, next to the suitcase.  A bowl of popcorn and a Coke Zero later, everyone was asleep.  

Morning came and the accusations started flying.  Someone had allegedly chewed on Gloman's shoelaces. There was talk of DNA evidence, saliva.  Trace indications of black and white hair.  A nondescript cat toy positioned "randomly" next to the shoes.  



No legal representation. No judge. No jury of my peers. 

Not even a consideration of what may have REALLY happened.  

Gloman, he gets hungry in the middle of the night and it's a long way downstairs to the kitchen.  He's partial to angel hair pasta.  And have you SEEN his hair?  Mostly white with a few fleeting strands of black. And that toy? Come ON. Why not just wrap the whole crime scene up in a box and tie it with a pretty ribbon.

Oh. That's right. I've got a "prior" with a three foot strand of ribbon. Yeah, I ate it. It was pink, ok?  After the ribbon was surgically removed, the stupid Vet actually GAVE it to Gloman as a some kind of sick souvenir.  It's hermetically sealed in a Ziploc bag and tucked inside one of his drawers in the garage.  

May as well be hanging around my neck.  


41 comments:

Cory said...

Don't worry Katie...a jury of your peers will likely consist of most of the cast of Real Housecats of the Blogosphere. I predict acquittal for you and a conviction for Gloman. He will be sentenced to worshipping ALL of us at all times...and catnip toys for all!!!!

xoxo Cory

Sparkle said...

Katie, you are SO not guilty! Let me know if you need a lawyer - Binga has one on retainer.

Prancer Pie said...

Completely circumstantial, my dear Katie. They don't have a leg to stand on! (or shoelaces to tie their shoes) HaHaMeow!

Katie and Da Katz said...

It's the shoelaces! Dey ate demselves!

dArtagnan Rumblepurr/Diego Hamlet Moonfur said...

Dear Glopeople,

Katie was with ME the WHOLE TIME.

Sincerely,
Rumblepurr

SquirrelQueen said...

You was railroaded Katie! We know you would never do such a thing. That ribbon was just a moment of madness. We're behind you all the way on this one.

Supportive purrs,
Cindi Lou and The Kitty Krew

The Furries of Whisppy said...

How ridiculous! It's all circumstantial and they have NOTHING you Katie.

Father Tom said...

Good Cod, I don't know what the justice system is coming to..Katie!!

(You do take a good mug shot, though :)

Hugs,
Tom
xx

The Island Cats said...

Katie, we know you didn't have anything to do with that shoelace. But even if you did, isn't Gloman as guilty leaving his shoes there knowing that you have a thing for string?? Tell Gloman he's gonna need the lawyer.

Mariodacat said...

Katie - I'm SHOCKED BEYOND WORDS that Gloman could possibly think you would have chewed on his shoelaces. What is that man thinking - oh that's right - men dobn't think!!

Marg said...

MOL, great stuff. We know for a fact that you didn't chew those shoe laces Katie. How could they accuse you of doing that. Just not right. We will be there to help if you need us. Take care

Carolyn said...

Ok we need to get organised! Austin has put himself forward to be retained by the accused as he has had much experience in wrongful arrest and imprisonment. He will also bring forward character witnesses and experts to speak for defendent - the Real Housecats have an eternal bond that will last at least until next Wednesday!

The evidence, as stated, is only circumstantial and was without doubt planted by some Glo ..... err ... human illwisher.

Don't worry Katie, we've got your back, kid xox

Hannah and Lucy said...

We can see from your face that you are totally innocent. (claws crossed)
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Katie Isabella said...

Katie, I would NEVER believe even for a micro second that you are capable of such an act. That was a heinous accusation and we'll all ante up for the best cat lawyer out there. Don't you worry.

TOK

Brian said...

Hmmmmmm, last I checked that was not illegal, at least not in South Carolina!

Anonymous said...

Katie, spoke with Barry Scheck (OJ Simpson fame)..he said "if the shoelace doesn't fit..they MUST acquitt" he should know..said he would take your case pro-cato...Luv ya, Misstoes

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

We think Gloman ate his own shoelaces. He was too tired to go downstairs and get a proper snack -- so he just nibbled on the shoelaces. You were so framed!!!

Cat Chat With Caren And Cody said...

but...were there PAWPRINTS? I read nothing about pawprints!!

Rather than charging you...I think your parents should be charged for their consumption of TV DINNERS!!! Oh and COKE ZERO!! JUNK!

Bleeeccch!

Kjelle Bus said...

How ridiculous *pfft*
It's all circumstantial and they have NOTHING on you at all , Katie !!!

Patty Woodland said...

Oh Katie. I hope you are not in the "big house" for long

meowmeowmans said...

That's TOTALLY circumstantial evidence, Katie! What a miscarriage of justice!!!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

I believe everything is circumstantial. After all, you would never do such a thing!

Repositório said...

Heheheheh! I really love your creativity!

Cat-from-Sydney said...

Katie dear,
Hmmm....I've contacted them all ....so the teams of CSI, NCIS, FBI, CIA, NASA will all investigate the matter. Don't worry, dear, all will be good. purrr...meow!

Madi and Mom said...

Katie if you need a good attorney let me know. I have connections in the underworld.
Hugs from your BFFF,
Madi

D Ma said...

if the shoe lace is not bit, they must acquit.

Nadbugs said...

NO JUSTICE NO PEACE!!
NO JUSTICE NO PEACE!!

Katnip Lounge said...

What WE want to know is how come there's no WEIGHT catagory on that mug shot? hahahahahaha!!!!!

LP said...

Circumstantial evidence Katie! All of it! Completely circumstantial! It is soooo obvious that once again Gloman is trying to frame you. With his penchant for angel hair pasta it is obvious he got up in the middle of the night for a snack, forgot his glasses, chewed on some shoelace and went back to bed. He'll poop it out in a day or so and then you will have concrete EVIDENCE!!! Keep on eye on him Katie, don't do the time for a crime that's clearly not yours...

the critters in The Cottage xo

Cathy Keisha said...

You were framed! Have I got a mouthpiece for you from the hood! That evidence would never stand up in court. You may have been batting that mouse around and it landed there but the rest is trumped up.

Rykers Boyz n Allie said...

They'd never make it stick! NEVAH! It's a Travesty of Justice!!

Daisy said...

You were framed, Katie! Do you need bail money?

Callie (a.k.a. Trouble) said...

Katie - I am concerned about the so called evidence here. You are being convicted based upon the colors of your fur. I think this is profiling of black and white kitties. We need to organize a riot in LA.

The Cat From Hell said...

Dearest Katie
Me has furrends in high places. And Spitty is very good at busting cats out of jail...
Just in case...
Nellie

Two French Bulldogs said...

they are so quick to blame others. We will bail you out.
Benny & Lily

Layla ( Cat Wisdom 101) said...

OMC 33" high or that centimeters? Either way, you look guilty ;-)

Cat said...

Our chewing of things is highly monitored here too Katie....drag!

snoopy@snoopysdogblog said...

Hey Katie,

You did the right thing buddy - you didn't confess!! Without your confession, they're never really certain, despite any 'evidence'!!

You're a great Mischief Maker :)

Your Doggie pal Snoopy :)

TK and Squashies said...

I believe you, Katie! You've been framed.

Meg said...

Justice is a cruel mistress Katie.

Anonymous said...

Poor Kitty; Was she caught redpawed or is the owner of the said laces only presuming? Kitty Cats do not look good being Mutt-shotted. Keep your silence, kitty. They cannot prove anything,