Thursday, May 3, 2012

The D Word


Light as an overweight 12 pound feather.


Hi everyone, Katie here.

It's finally happened.  The 24 hour buffet is shutting down.  Low carb they say.  Grain free.  Portion CONTROL. What??? The D word. Diet.

I'm perfectly fine thank you. Look!  I'm light as air. As long as I'm holding on to 45-50 super-duty, helium-filled balloons. Never mind the hidden jet motor propelling me up.

So Glogirly decides to change up my foods to something that's supposed to be healthier. Higher in protein, yadda, yadda.


A Disconcerting Exchange
I witnessed the following exchange between Glogirly and Gloman.

Glogirly: "WOW...Katie feels a little heavier.  Just how much are YOU feeding her?"

Gloman: "To the top of the cup."

Glogirly: "The TOP of the CUP?"

Gloman: "It's a cup.  To the top."

Glogirly: "She's only supposed to get HALF the cup."

Gloman: "Well she's eating the WHOLE cup."

Glogirly: "DUUUH."

I walk by, all nonchalant, good posture, sucking in my stomach.  Nothing to see here.

Gloman to Me:  "Tubbs!  You ARE fat!"

Gloman to Glogirly: "Look at her middle.  It's REALLY round."

Ok. Tubbs?  Fat?  ROUND???  Ah, how about you take that head of yours and point it straight down.  Can you see your shoes?  Enough said. 


So now I'm getting a measly half-cup after they've gotten me used to the whole cup.  And I'm starving.  All because SOMEONE doesn't know the difference between a cup and a half-cup.

...and they say that humans are the smarter species.




40 comments:

  1. We think you look purrfect, but unnerstand the need to be healthy. Mebbe your Mom could find you sum treats to supplement the meager half cup of food. If not, teleport ofur and we'll hook you up. HaHaMeow!

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  2. You got a whole CUP!? Wow! When Binga and Boodie got dry, they got a coffee scoop - probably about 1/8 of a cup - each for breakfast! Then a 6-oz. can for dinner split between the two of them. Now they get all wet, so for breakfast they split a 3-oz. can between them instead of dry. And they are not skinny - Binga is between 9 and 10 pounds and Boodie is about a pound heavier.

    Hm. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, considering your human is probably reading this.

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  3. Aw, man, too bad they figured out their mistake! My mom recently had the same conversation with her man because she changed the size of the scoop in my food and he didn't notice, either... and I sure as heck wasn't gonna tell him :)
    xo,
    Lu

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  5. My dear, it is VERY clear to me that you must move in here, where you'd be but a tiny wee girl. I'm about 17lbs and that kitten is about 16lbs. And it's ALL MANCAT *flex*

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  6. Katie darl,
    Oh dear....I think it's a matter of seeing whether it's half a cup full or half a cup empty, eh? Nah...I've given up figuring out my hoomans... purrr....meow!

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  7. Oh wow. A WHOLE cup? When we were still on kibbles, we didn't get half a cup but were still tubby. Now that we are on a home cook diet, we've lost the tubbiness and a whole lot more active too. :)

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  8. Wow... we would be thrilled with a half cup... is that only once per day? Or do you get it twice per day? We share a half cup twice a day... So guess that the same as your new diet. Good luck. We are always on the lookout for food left out.

    pawhugs, Max

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  9. Gasp! What is up with all our crazy oomans. I've been on a diet now for bout a year and I get a half cup of dry a day or less, and about a teaspoon (heaping) of wet 3 times a day. I've been starved here for a year now. Guess what - my waistline hasn't gone down but just a tiny bit. Guess I showed them!

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  10. the dreaded 'd' word. ick.

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  11. Oh, we feel for you, Katie! The mom's been looking at Nicki, who's always been lean and mean, and realizing he's a "little" porker now, brought about by the fact that he'll vacuum up all the canned Derry won't eat (unless Derry's starving).

    As for kibble, we get 1 TBSP each in the AM, and 1 TBSP each in the PM.

    Your half-cup seems like a banquet to us! :-P

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  12. if it's their fault then THEY should go on the diet. that's DIE with a T

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  13. Poor Katie! It's their fault and you have to suffer--tha's not fair!

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  14. Those who say that (humans are the smarter species) are SO wrong!

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  15. Dear Katie - salmon is low carb :)

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  16. You will have to do what I did Katie, I was on a diet but couldn't get enough to eat...so I added a second diet!

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  17. I guess catching a few mice to supplement your D.I.E.T is out of the question? ;) Maybe you could convince them to change you over to a seafood diet. You know if you see food you just eat it. I don't know about you butt I really like things simplified ;)

    Waggin at ya,
    Roo

    PeeS: Couldn't they see under all that extra fluff was pure muscle? :)

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  18. Katie, that is pretty funny. Especially since Mom calls BG, little Miss Tubby since she is a little on the heavy side. So don't feel like the lone ranger. Also Mom found some grain free food that some of the cats here will actually eat. Hope all of you have a great day.

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  19. Poor girl. You'll just have to figure out where the foods are hidden

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  20. I'm with Sparkle. I get a coffee scoop. Who they think they are throwing words like that around your sensitive ears. The peeps used to call Autumn Plumpy for a nickname. BTW, you do get stinky goodness too, don't you?

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  21. Oh Katie I feel soo sorry for you :(
    The D thing must be the most stupid word that mankind have invented ever !!

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  22. LOL Who’s tubby? Austin likes buxom wenches. They don’t run so fast, easier to catch. …. so he says!!!

    Katie you’re not overweight you’ve just got fat fur!!

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  23. Ok, that "D" word is just miserable...I feel your pain Katie. I get half a cup too...

    Luv Cloon

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  24. The D word is evil! We only get a few crunchies now and again as a treat because mum changed us to wet food to get us to lose weight. When we used to have crunchies we used to get 1 small measuring cup between us twice a day.

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  25. Oh noes! Katie, I like your girlish figure.

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  26. Katie, oh drats for math! Did you know May is the month celebrate tuxie cats like you?

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  27. Haha! Katie, Gloman sounds just like our dad-guy!! Our mom won't let him feed us because he always gives us waaaay more than our mom gives us. We like it when mom has to go to work early or is out of town and dad-guy feeds us!!

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  28. Katie you are obviously light as a feather as is proven by the balloons carrying you away! Hello?!! Were the hoomans not watching?!! Maybe you should ask Gloman to do the ballon trick and if he can't manage to get off the ground...well, um. It's half a cup of food a day for him too :P

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  29. From 1 cup to 1/2 cup? Oh no, you are getting shafted so badly, Katie!

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  30. OH MY! Can you do with just half the food you are used to? Come live with us! Food is out all the time. Just don't listen when they make comments like "Hey, Waddles!". Works for us!

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  31. I don't like that diet word. Mom just keeps taking food away from me. Luckily, Spyro moved in, so there is more food around, but the little piggy eats most of it.

    Herman

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  32. Katie, I so feel for you they are making me diet too. I do not like the D word at all. ~Scylla

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  33. This is an OUTRAGE!!! Who will I be zaftig with?

    XX Salem The LADY Cat (hee hee)

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  34. NOOOOOOOO! We hate the D word, too.

    Poor Katie!

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  35. Oh Dear.
    Major error on the part of Gloman there!
    Let's just say I feel your pain because the vet is going to chew om out big time at the end of May when I go in for my checkup!
    -Shaggy

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  36. Allie: oooh NO! Don't they know that "Diet" is DIE with a "T"???

    Time to pull out the Heavy Artillery - Drama Queen style.

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  37. What's dry food? We only get canned food here. :-)

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