I feel I need to apprise you of my situation. This new Waffles TOO character, well...I have reason to believe he's hiding a criminal past.
I'm not really a paranoid kitty. Well, maybe a little. Only if someone is following me. Or calling my name. Or looking at me. Whatever...paranoia aside, someone is out to get me.
Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched? I do. Every minute of every hour of every day. Except when the pea-eyed monster sleeps.
I hear footsteps. All the time. Sometimes they're slow, soft, hardly audible. Other times, it's like a herd of wild horses wearing high heels. Yet, I can't see a thing.
Glogirly says it's all in my imagination.
I know better. I don't have an imagination. I have a stalker. An orange, pea-eyed, maniacal stalker.
I'm certain he's touched my tail when I wasn't looking. Sniffed my whiskers when I was sleeping. He's been drinking my water and eating my food too. There's no telling what he's capable of.
Sure, I can defend myself. I've had seven years of feline martial arts training. I have a black & white belt.
But I'm a lady. I try to conduct myself with a certain ... decorum.
Therefore I have no other choice than to seek assistance through the appropriate legal channels.
Cathy Keisha – expect my call.