Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving Etiquette



Hi everyone, Katie here.

So I'm told that today is Thanksgiving. In honor of this holiday, I'd like to draw your attention to what I consider to be the must-have of etiquette bibles, 'Miss Manners Guide To Excruciatingly Correct Cat Behavior.' Judith Martin and I go way back. At her request, I consulted with her on this very special edition of her now famous etiquette guide for modern cats in a modern world.

Judy has a cheeky sense of humor and likes to throw in little stories and pictures. In the Thanksgiving chapter there is talk of things like roasted turkey, pumpkin pie and which fork Aunt Candy mistakenly used for pickles. She has a great how-to section on making sparkling dinner conversation and chewing with your mouth closed. There's even a full page spread devoted to carving the turkey and how to know when it's time to put down the carving knife and pull out the claws. She describes an unfortunate accident when Uncle Casey, a clumsy Main Coon, catapulted the cooked bird out the sliding glass door while trying to carve it with his unusually large and misshapen claws.


AUNT CANDY & UNCLE CASEY


There is even a very special chapter devoted to being kind to your neighbors, even if they are dogs wearing headdresses.


NEIGHBORS IN HEADDRESS


Unbeknownst to me, Judy decided to throw in a couple of costume ideas. This is HER idea of cheeky. Mind you I did NOT pose for these photographs. I wouldn't be caught DEAD in a pilgrim outfit. Even though it IS a true fashion classic in black & white. Come on... an apron and A BONNET for crying out loud!? I don't think so.




But there was nothing in the guide about why this holiday is called "Thanks" giving. Glogirly says it's a time for us to reflect on the people and things in our life we are grateful for. She says though that "things" aren't supposed to be "stuff." You know, like a fast car or a 24 count case of catnip mice. Instead, "things" are like a place to call home, a healthy mind and body, enough food to never be hungry and plenty of love and friendship. This may be HER idea of "things" but I'm telling you, I've never seen any of them at Target or on Ebay. She also says that it would be really nice if I thought about what I'm thankful for. She says I have to list three things. Since when does Thanksgiving require homework?

So I guess this "Thanks" giving list thing is going to require a little out-of-the-box (not litter) thinking on my part. So here goes.

I am thankful for:

-1-
My super nice and good looking (can I say that?) blogging friends for leaving me comments of love, laughs and support.


-2-
My girl, Glogirly, for attending to my food and poop needs and loving me unconditionally.


-3-
And of course, Gloman. For not picking me up when I don't want to be picked up, for our conversations about life and love, and for choosing me and bringing me home to my girl.



HAPPY THANKSGIVING
with love, from Katie

(... stupid pilgrim costume)


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Man Hands



Hi everyone, Katie here.

DISCLAIMER: The following photos are in no way intended to suggest that I am an ordinary pushover lap cat. On the contrary, I am merely a method actor, in the zone.


Those of you who have come to know me, understand and even appreciate that I live life on MY terms. This is MY townhouse. Inside is MY kitchen, MY bathroom, MY down comforter on MY bed. Glogirly and Gloman stay here only because I allow it. Sure they pay the mortgage, they buy the salmon. That's just the price of entry for life with me. And they are happy to do it.



Part of the whole "my terms" thing involves behavior normally associated with obedient pets. You know...pushover dogs and lazy cats. Occasionally, I will exhibit such behavior in an effort to create an impression of townhome peace and harmony. Or simply to make Glogirly jealous.



These photos, recently taken with my approval, exhibit the latter.

Glogirly has been traveling. That evil suitcase has been coming and going. Sure, I hear this is about to change, but I'm not going to let that stop me from arousing just a little bit of jealousy in her. Ok, alot of jealousy. See, I'd never allow her to do what Gloman is doing in these photos. You can tell it's him by the man hands. I may look like I'm enjoying it. Chances are I was even purring. But that's what method acting is. I am immersing myself in my character, losing myself in the character's emotions. This makes for a uniquely lifelike performance. The stuff of which Ocscar's are made.




So is the jealousy thing it working?
You bet your sweet Glogirly.






Monday, November 15, 2010

The Evil Suitcase




Hi everyone, Katie here.

There's a big rumor swirling around the townhouse. I know, rumors are usually bad and should often be avoided. This is NOT that kind of rumor. This is the GOOD kind.

Seems that Glogirly is going to be starting a new job soon. A job that requires only infrequent use of the evil suitcase.




More details to come...but for now, I'm ready to celebrate!



BRING ON THE SALMON!


Monday, November 8, 2010

Sunbasking




Hi everyone, Katie here.

Some of you know that the townhouse has been under construction all summer and fall. Bad news is I've got to deal with unexpected intruders wearing tool belts and swinging hammers. No warning whatsoever. They just barge right in, forcing me to scamper off and hide.

Good news is our window blinds have been down now for months.

Good news, because I'm able to bask in the sun without those pesky plantation blinds blocking my sunbeams.


I never have to worry about tan lines.


Don't worry, my beautiful furs have a natural SPF. I am safe in the sun.


Yes, that's my Sheep Mouse. A gift from one of my admirers.



What? Are you kidding? Sheep Mouse is a gift from Deb the Cat Sitter?



I better rethink who I lay in the sun with.



Friday, November 5, 2010

Mean Kitty Song

Hi everyone, Katie here.

Just in time for the weekend...
I've found some new tunes to groove to.

With a name like this, you know it's GOT to be good.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

She Voted




Hi everyone, Katie here.

I did my civic duty today. I made sure that Glogirly voted. I know she did a really good job too. She is very artistic and can draw inside the little ovals perfectly.


You have to fill in the ovals correctly AND fill in the CORRECT oval.



I would have liked to have voted myself. This is MY townhouse after all. I make sure that Glogirly and Gloman pay their taxes. We recycle. But apparently I'm too short to stand up to the polling booths and reach the plastic table.

Too short for roller coasters and polling booths.



I'm also not old enough (in people years), I'm not so good with the whole coloring inside the ovals thing, and ... oh ... I'm a CAT.


How fair is THAT!



Sunday, October 31, 2010

Never Let Them Hear You Hiss




Hi everyone, Katie here.

I knew this day would come. I've been on my toes for weeks in anticipation of this silly holiday. The holiday that seems to be all about candy and cat ears.




So this time I was ready.

When Glogirly tried to taunt me again with her cat ears disguise, I took it all in stride. Sure, I wanted to hiss. I wanted to show a little claw. But you know what they say - Never let them see you sweat. Or in my case - Never let them hear you hiss.





I've been playing along all day. And I must say, I enjoy watching her work so hard to trip me up.




Better luck next time, Glogirly.


And Pee. S. to Katie Lite: I'm still watching.


Friday, October 22, 2010

Katie Lite, I'm Onto You




Hi everyone, Katie here.

Katie Lite, last seen with Glogirly in Sandpoint, Idaho is suspected to have absconded to the Chicago area. For those of you just joining me, Katie Lite is the sneaky imposter that was seen galavanting around Idaho with Glogirly while my girl was away on business. I can define their relationship only as suspicious and Katie Lite's motivation as questionable.

If you've been keeping up with my reports, you know that Katie Lite disappeared suddenly from Sandpoint, Idaho. Foul play is suspected. And, if you read between the lines, the authorities are pointing an accusatory finger at ME for crying out loud. Like I had something to do with it or something.


Stupid tabloid rags.


I've been snooping around on Facebook and have now obtained compelling evidence that Katie Lite has indeed fled to Chicago. She arrived in her Kayak sometime last weekend. Kayak. Can you believe it? What self-respecting cat would ever consider a kayak as an appropriate mode of transportation?


Opposable thumbs?
I've got your opposable thumbs. Right here.


Furthermore, I believe she has befriended an unsuspecting Chicago family in hopes of blending in. These poor kids have no idea who they are dealing with. She's even trying to hide her scary ears underneath that silly headband.



Left to right: Unsuspecting son,
unsuspecting daughter, Katie Lite.




Katie Lite, I'm onto you.

And I'm watching you.



Friday, October 15, 2010

Katie Lite Missing




Hi everyone, Katie here.

This just in - The Daily News is reporting that Katie Lite, notorious stand-in cat for Katie, is missing. Katie Lite was last seen yesterday with Glogirly in Sandpoint, Idaho. Her sudden disappearance is being described as both shocking and suspicious. Authorities are investigating and suspect foul play.




According to Glogirly, she and Katie Lite went out for a late night stroll along the shores of Lake Pond Oreille. Suddenly they found themselves in a very shady part of town. Glogirly: "One minute we were mewing and laughing, laughing and mewing, the next minute she was gone."



Last known photo of Katie Lite.


In a shocking twist of events, a local Sandpoint cat, Miss Mavis, has come forward claiming to have information that authorities hope will crack the Katie Lite case wide open.


Local Sandpoint Cat, Miss Mavis


Miss Mavis has reported having seen a suspicious cat, obviously from out of town, stalking the streets of Sandpoint. Miss Mavis is said to have witnessed this outsider cat rushing away from Katie Lite's last known location. Authorities claim Miss Mavis had her iPhone with her and managed to snap off a partial photo of the outsider cat leaving the scene.



Actual iPhone photo taken by Miss Mavis.


Since the Katie Lite story went public, Miss Mavis has received threatening emails and Facebook comments. Local law enforcement believe these threats have originated from a Minneapolis cat's IP address. Fearful for her own safety, Miss Mavis has declined any further comment.


Miss Mavis: "NO COMMENT"


This outsider cat is described as black & white, small in stature with a distinguishing mustache marking on her upper left lip. Sandpoint authorities are seeking any information that might help in locating and apprehending the outsider cat for questioning.


Police Sketch Artist's Rendering of Outsider Cat


Friends, I have NO IDEA as to the identity of this outsider cat. And I think it's just so sad that we may never hear from Katie Lite again. My heart goes out to the family...yadda-yadda, whatever.

Miss Mavis, you better watch your back.




Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Katie Lite




Hi everyone, Katie here.

This just in - Troubling news from Idaho. Very troubling indeed. I have been replaced.

Word on the street indicates Glogirly has been seen hanging out with an imposter. A poser. ...a...a-nother CAT!

I'm all touched that Glogirly obviously misses me. Who wouldn't? But come on. Katie Lite? Katie Lite (a.k.a. Dawn) is a friend and colleague of Glogirly's. They've been "working" together out in that crazy Idaho place for what seems like a hundred cat years.



My suspicion meter is high. VERY high. I don't know about you, but this does NOT look like WORK to me:



Katie Lite and Glogirly.
WORKING at the Lake.




Katie Lite again.
Nice wide-mouth bass, Katie Lite.
...apparently Katie Lite's palette is not
sophisticated enough to appreciate Salmon.


Champagne. Can you believe it!
I'm seething.


Nice tail, Katie Lite.
You are an embarrassment to cats across the country.


Glogirly better not have any long-term plans with this Katie Lite. She had best leave Katie Lite back in Idaho where she belongs. The townhouse...correction, the WORLD is only big enough for one Katie.



Sunday, October 10, 2010

Hello, Glogirly?




Hi everyone, Katie here.

My girl is still gone. She's still in that Idaho place. Still. But at least I've finally got Gloman back. I was getting a little worried, rationing food and all. He arrived home at the townhouse today. Cleaned my box. Topped off my food. Refreshed my water. Even played with my new toy. I don't mind sharing, but jeez...how about letting ME play with my new toy!



Then he totally redeemed himself. We got to call Glogirly. I even got to mew into the iPhone. I could hear her giggling. I could also see Gloman roll his eyes. But I know he misses her too. I'm pretty sure she told him to kiss me. I'm not sure I like that idea. And neither is he.

She's coming home next Friday. Until then I've Photoshopped myself onto a park bench looking across big Lake Pend Oreille towards Sandpoint. That's where my girl is sleeping tonight.




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